Summer is always too short. But oh, so sweet.
It has been a wonderful break. We ended it on just the right note. Josh's great grandpa built a cabin in the Sierra Nevadas in 1932 that is still in the family. It is boy Paradise. And the girls like it too. Fishing, boating, kayaking, star gazing, swimming, napping, card games, eating, reading. No cell coverage or internet. Just right.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
This is seriously a crazy ride.
Checked into the hospital this morning having no idea what to expect. They put me in a hospital bed, started an IV, hooked me up to a heart monitor, explained I would get some drugs to make me sleepy (versed and phentanyl, I said yes to both) during the procedure. The Dr. came in and said that they do a CT scan, bring me out of the scanner, mark where the needle should go, get the needle in there (he said it could be hard depending on what organs were in the way, we may have to try and manually manipulate things, or lay on my tummy or something to try and get a straight shot), then with the needle in, run me through the scanner to see if it was in the right place, take some sample cells, and give them to a pathologist to make sure it was a 'good' sample.
Yikes!
He said there is a chance this area lit up on the scan because when they married the CT with the PET it was a little off and it was just showing the ovary again, as the spot was about the same size and right next to the ovary. How big of chance, I asked, of it being something like that and not cancer? He thought as high as 50%. B
So they get me on the CT machine, put a grid paper-thing on my stomach, run me through the scanner once, inject contrast dye, run me through again. I then wait for 10 minutes while the radiologist consults with another radiologist. He came out and said there was nothing he could poke a needle into. A small spot that they would watch in upcoming scans, but most likely just normal ovarian activity.
So within a couple hours I ran through so many emotions. Glad we are stopping on overjoyed.
Freedom!!! Until October...
Checked into the hospital this morning having no idea what to expect. They put me in a hospital bed, started an IV, hooked me up to a heart monitor, explained I would get some drugs to make me sleepy (versed and phentanyl, I said yes to both) during the procedure. The Dr. came in and said that they do a CT scan, bring me out of the scanner, mark where the needle should go, get the needle in there (he said it could be hard depending on what organs were in the way, we may have to try and manually manipulate things, or lay on my tummy or something to try and get a straight shot), then with the needle in, run me through the scanner to see if it was in the right place, take some sample cells, and give them to a pathologist to make sure it was a 'good' sample.
Yikes!
He said there is a chance this area lit up on the scan because when they married the CT with the PET it was a little off and it was just showing the ovary again, as the spot was about the same size and right next to the ovary. How big of chance, I asked, of it being something like that and not cancer? He thought as high as 50%. B
So they get me on the CT machine, put a grid paper-thing on my stomach, run me through the scanner once, inject contrast dye, run me through again. I then wait for 10 minutes while the radiologist consults with another radiologist. He came out and said there was nothing he could poke a needle into. A small spot that they would watch in upcoming scans, but most likely just normal ovarian activity.
So within a couple hours I ran through so many emotions. Glad we are stopping on overjoyed.
Freedom!!! Until October...
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
relief
The knot in my stomach is finally gone after a couple weeks! Although yesterday's news was not as good as it could be, I was prepared for much worse, so there were no tears or trouble sleeping.
The Dr. gave me the choice yesterday of doing surgery to remove and biopsy the spot in question, or scanning in couple of months to see if it grows. I asked what he would recommend and he said, "It's a tough call." Leaving the hard choice up to me. I didn't love either of the choices (although he said the surgery would not be as big as the last one) so we are going to see if they can get at it with a needle first. Might as well try.
There are reasons I am not too worried. The metabolically active spot was there on the scans in March, near an ovary, and the radiologist read it as something that can be normal in young women. They are concerned about it only because it has grown.
I think I would be more worried if the same thing was in my liver, or lung, or even if they were thinking it was a lymph node. Because those places make more sense to me.
Not sure what I'm trying to say, other than I'm in a better place today than I have been for a while. Kind of liking this place!
The Dr. gave me the choice yesterday of doing surgery to remove and biopsy the spot in question, or scanning in couple of months to see if it grows. I asked what he would recommend and he said, "It's a tough call." Leaving the hard choice up to me. I didn't love either of the choices (although he said the surgery would not be as big as the last one) so we are going to see if they can get at it with a needle first. Might as well try.
There are reasons I am not too worried. The metabolically active spot was there on the scans in March, near an ovary, and the radiologist read it as something that can be normal in young women. They are concerned about it only because it has grown.
I think I would be more worried if the same thing was in my liver, or lung, or even if they were thinking it was a lymph node. Because those places make more sense to me.
Not sure what I'm trying to say, other than I'm in a better place today than I have been for a while. Kind of liking this place!
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
results in (kind of)
I talked with the Dr. briefly. There is something showing growth in my pelvic region, above the leg. The surgeon thought this was a lymph node, but the radiologist looked again and thinks it is not. I go in Friday to have another CT and hopefully (if they can get at it) a needle biopsy to see if there are cancerous cells or something else. Of course we won't get the results from the pathology of the biopsy till next week at the earliest.
So a little more waiting. And a lot more hoping.
If this is cancerous and not a lymph node, I guess I would be considered stage IV. If it is a lymph node near where my others were removed, I may stay the same stage. If this is not cancer, I am going to do 29 back-flips in a row. At least. Can't do one now, but no matter.
So a little more waiting. And a lot more hoping.
If this is cancerous and not a lymph node, I guess I would be considered stage IV. If it is a lymph node near where my others were removed, I may stay the same stage. If this is not cancer, I am going to do 29 back-flips in a row. At least. Can't do one now, but no matter.
Monday, July 11, 2011
I guess I should have Josh write the blog. All the facts with none of the drama.
Yes they said tomorrow. I had been out of cell phone coverage for most of the day, and right before the office closed I was able to get a bar on the top of a cliff in Colorado and track down the Dr.'s office.
It was the sweet receptionist who told me they were just talking about me, and that the Dr. wanted to call and go over the results with me tomorrow. And he will be in surgery all morning, so we are looking at afternoon. I was so surprised. I am trying not to read into this too much. But could the Dr. possibly want to just say "Everything looks great!"?
Maybe because there is nothing there, we are in no big hurry? Hoping for this. Can we apply the old adage, "no news is good news?"
I am pretty amazed I held up nicely after the let down. I took the boys to Mesa Verde today and we had such a great time exploring old Indian ruins. I was a little nervous to drag them around all day by myself as I am running out of patience with them (just been a bit stressed out). But I didn't even need patience today, they were so good. I had several comments from strangers on how great they acted.
One couple in a curious accent (Australian I thought) approached me and said, "We don't have children where we come from. And I just thought you should know it is great to see such well behaved kids having fun and enjoying life."
"Oh, yes. Where are you from?"
"Arizona."
We are staying at Grandmas tonight, where it seems impossible to feel anything but peaceful. She lives at the edge of a small town with a big yard and beautiful garden. I love that her calm, reassuring presence resembles her environment. Maybe I won't go back.
Yes they said tomorrow. I had been out of cell phone coverage for most of the day, and right before the office closed I was able to get a bar on the top of a cliff in Colorado and track down the Dr.'s office.
It was the sweet receptionist who told me they were just talking about me, and that the Dr. wanted to call and go over the results with me tomorrow. And he will be in surgery all morning, so we are looking at afternoon. I was so surprised. I am trying not to read into this too much. But could the Dr. possibly want to just say "Everything looks great!"?
Maybe because there is nothing there, we are in no big hurry? Hoping for this. Can we apply the old adage, "no news is good news?"
I am pretty amazed I held up nicely after the let down. I took the boys to Mesa Verde today and we had such a great time exploring old Indian ruins. I was a little nervous to drag them around all day by myself as I am running out of patience with them (just been a bit stressed out). But I didn't even need patience today, they were so good. I had several comments from strangers on how great they acted.
One couple in a curious accent (Australian I thought) approached me and said, "We don't have children where we come from. And I just thought you should know it is great to see such well behaved kids having fun and enjoying life."
"Oh, yes. Where are you from?"
"Arizona."
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We are staying at Grandmas tonight, where it seems impossible to feel anything but peaceful. She lives at the edge of a small town with a big yard and beautiful garden. I love that her calm, reassuring presence resembles her environment. Maybe I won't go back.
still no news
Alisa is in southern utah, but she called the doctors office and they said they would for sure call her tomorrow afternoon with the results.
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