Not in a writing sort of mood. But I know you are wondering about this week. The insurance company finally responded Friday, and I will be starting the medicine this Wed. (assuming I pass my brain MRI tomorrow, I will fly out for testing on Tuesday). They (back to the insurance company) did not give me the answer I wanted, so I will continue to battle it out. But it is sucking all my strength to wait for phone calls, to be on hold, to leave messages, to try and explain the situation to dozens of people. To hope.
I do not mean to complain about the money. We don't need a bake sale (yet). We have budgeted $8,000, and although the insurance is asking me to pay more, we also have more. We just don't want to spend it on hospitals if we don't have to (we have other bills and dreams believe it or not). If we shouldn't have to (which is my opinion).
Today I have been on pain pills all day for the first time. It is only the second time I've needed them during the day.
Today is also our 13th anniversary. I cry when I think about it. All the loveliness and now all the ugly things we have had to deal with. Josh is the most amazing person in the world. I have a hard time not feeling like I've ruined his life, but he says 'no question' he would have married me even if he would have know. I really wonder if I would have married him, I don't know if I could choose to break someone's heart.
I guess it's a good thing we can't see into the future.
Well if it's any consolation, I've never considered 13 to be an unlucky number... And I'm pretty superstitious. I love you.
ReplyDeleteIt is, Jennie. Thanks!
DeleteAs soon as I posted this I got up and threw up dinner. Just to top things off. Happy Anniversary!!
ReplyDeleteOh man, I sure hope the insurance thing works out well and fast and that you get to pursue some of those other dreams instead of paying medical bills. I have to agree with Josh--I don't know if I've ever felt that a couple was more right for each other than you two. And I have thought that for many more than 13 years. It's probably more like 20!
ReplyDeleteHappy Anniversary to one of the most lovely couples I've ever known. You've weathered these trials together in such a beautiful and inspiring way. Here's to 13 more years to come...and many more! Love you guys!
ReplyDeleteYou guys are the most beautiful, amazing, strong couple. Happy Anniversary and to many, many, many more ahead.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and your family all the time. I totally understand what you're saying about breaking someone's heart but you and Josh are awesome and perfect together. Happy Anniversary! AND I'm glad you are able to get the meds! Wahoo! Go kick some cancer butt!!
ReplyDeleteWhat a good guy. Still loves you when you throw up on your anniversary.
ReplyDelete