But for the most part I'm home feeling gross. I sleep quite a bit. I can't imagine that the chemo is still making me sick, but I hope that is the case. I don't know, my hair just started falling out this week so I'm thinking maybe there could be some delayed effects from the chemo, and the nausea is also a part of this. I hope it's not the cancer causing trouble.
Today specifically we know it's the feeding tube causing the nausea. I've dislodged it from the Jejunum and it is floating around the stomach and esophagus where it should not be. This has happened before a couple of weeks ago and it was the most painful experience of my life so far when they put it back. So I am very upset, and hope that we can just pull the feeding tube altogether. I am skinny, like no bum, bones sticking out, cancer kind of skinny, and that might be the problem with no feeding tube at all.
In an effort to cheer me up my BFF has started an Instagram account for me. I don't know why but TV and computer time while I'm in bed are not at all interesting to me as they have been in the past. They totally put me to sleep. But I do have my phone and I love Instagram. Anyways, please follow CHEERSFORALISA and send your costume pictures in to firstname.lastname@example.org. Jennie can come up with a caption for you (or if you're tricky enough do your own) I would so love to see your pretty faces. So fun!
I have to send you over to Jennie's other Instagram account dateweekly which was really motivating Josh and I to date on a weekly basis. My sister Sonja started dating her husband after following. There are great date ideas, and just reminders of how important it is to have fun and take time with your spouse.
And while I'm pointing you to Instagram accounts, you want to get in on MOONMANDOTCOM. This little guy will keep your Instagram a happy, beautiful place. My cousin Stephen is the mastermind behind this project. Thanks for sharing with us all Stephen!
I need to create my own account of things that made me smiled today. Because even with a permanent scowl (Josh came up to me this afternoon and tried smoothing out in between my eyebrows "I wish you could just relax your face"), there are things that keep me smiling. Today it is Josh baking the weekly bread, coming to ask if each step was done right. It turned of perfect, of course. Josh went to work last week for the first time in months. I missed him so much.
Thanks for your prayers. We are certainly struggling right now. I've got to get on top of this and move forward. I really think I can. Somehow.