It is sad that I am writing this post. As you have all experienced Alisa is a talented writer and has a special ability to include us in her feelings and emotions through her words. Alisa has gone down hill the last few days and is not really up to writing.
Two weeks ago Alisa's family fasted for Alisa so that she could feel well enough to attend Kirsten's wedding. Prior to that day (May1st), Alisa had been in lots of pain and could barely get out of bed. As she mentioned in her last post, Alisa was able to not only attend the wedding, but participated and helped the entire day. The day after the wedding I knew Alisa had been blessed with health to experience that day with her family, but I felt it might be the last miracle we would witness during her fight with cancer.
We went in for scans yesterday and followed up with a visit this morning. When Carolyn came into the room she said, "Your scans don't look good, but you probably already knew that." We did know, but it is still hard to see the proof. Alisa started to be extremely tired and confused last Thursday. I also noticed that her eyes had a yellow tint to them. I finally broke down and googled what yellow eyes mean (besides the obvious fear of being a wolf). Among other things, liver failure will cause yellow eyes. I suspected something might be wrong with her liver. They showed us the scans and the tumor has basically invaded where fluids get into the liver. This means that instead of the liver filtering out the toxins, they are spreading throughout the body (this may not be medically accurate). This causes the yellow eyes, swelling in the feet, and confusion.
We were scheduled for another round of chemotherapy today, and we had decided yesterday that we would not be doing it, but Carolyn confirmed and said that her body would not be able to handle the chemotherapy.
So, we are officially out of options. We have experienced many miracles over the last 8 years and have been blessed to enjoy them with Alisa.
We will start hospice today. Carolyn said we are now talking about weeks left. I selfishly hope that Alisa will somehow hang on a bit longer. For her sake, I hope she gets to heaven quickly. I hear heaven is a beautiful place, shortly it will be more beautiful than ever.