Wednesday, November 14, 2012


In one week we scan again.  I am entirely creeped out.

My faith a little shaken in the events with my sister.  Lighting can strike in the same place twice.

Predictions?  I think the tumor by my diaphram is gone.  Shortly after last scans I had an awful pain, like a knife cutting through my lung, every time I tried to take a deep breathe.  I would breathe in, then scream as I got to a certain point.  It freaked us out, but only lasted like 4 days.  I am hoping it was getting big as my immune system prepared for attack. 

I think I feel the one in my right arm pit.   You have to dig, but it does seem to still be there. 

But who even knows?  This is all just crazy.

I am assuming if there is nothing new, but we can still see the cancer, we will continue to treat.  Either with just the Temodar, or radiate the remaining tumors.  If we have new growth, IPI again?  A trial?  I don't really know.  I am only now considering these possibilities.  I have felt so dang good, had so much hope.  We slipped back into 'normal' life so quickly and easily.  The kids have been so fun, Josh so happy.  We have been only talking and acting like I am going to be around for a long time. 

But now as we get closer to knowing, I'm not so sure.

And so, I am letting myself be nervous this week.   I took the kids to school this morning then climbed back into bed.  Hiding from all the frightening things that are happening out there.  Using this one morning with nothing on my calendar to take some deep breaths.  To search for some more strength. 

Probably won't find any under the covers though, huh?


  1. Thinking about you lots this week, and visualizing your happy blog post next week. Hoping for heaps and heaps of good news.

  2. It might not be under the covers, but you'll find it...I know you will. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. Yes, we now know that lighting can strike the same place twice, but it doesn't happen too often, I hope! Love you Alisa!

  3. I'm feeling good about you, girlfriend. I really am.

  4. Remember the legend of the girl who beat cancer when all odds were against her? The legend is true!! I retell it all the time! We will continue to pray for you! I hope this next week brings nothing but good news! Wish it could have worked out to see you, but mostly my heart aches that you and all of your family were dealing with such a heart breaking loss! Lots of love!
    Stephanie Ingram

  5. Ipi is such an amazing drug. It isn't something that you have to continue taking! It changes your immune system, forever and it is still working!! Ten months later and I've only had one new tumor (who found it's way around my immune system but we radiated it!!). We KNOW how precious each day is. Enjoy each one if you can and try not to worry. You have beat this!! Please tell us specifically when your scans are so we can continue our prayers for you.
    Kristi Hankins

  6. Pretty sure strength hangs out exclusively under the covers. It wants to be found.

  7. You are full of strength. Thinking of you all the time. xxxxooooo

  8. Oh I can't imagine what you are going through but I want you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and we will be anticipating wonderful news next week love Suzanne Campbell

  9. I know all too well that scanxiety! I actually have my scans the week after Thanksgiving, so I'm getting nervous too! Even though I'm in remission, I am always reminded right before scans how quickly things can change, without any signs or symptoms, or in your words, "how lightning can strike twice".

    This is the time when you pray more--pray for more strength pray for PEACE, and pray to understand and know that the Lord has a beautiful plan for you. He will provide you comfort and love!

    I am so grateful you have had a "normal" life the past couple of months, think of that as a tender mercy and blessing! The days when you don't think about cancer at all are truly a gift!

    So many prayers to you friend!


    P.S. We really do need to meet up one of these days when I'm down in UT. I'm sure we could spend hours talking! ;)

  10. Maybe I need to start hanging out under my covers more, because you seem to find that strength time and time again... you just amaze me! So wonderful things have been "normal" for you and everyone so happy. I think of you often and pray for continued hope, love and comfort for you and your sweet fam!

  11. Ours prayers continue for you, Alisa. We'll be thinking of you this week & praying hard for some great news!