Monday, April 11, 2011


The Dr. appointment today was less than exciting. He said he will talk to the board this Thursday about me. He said my leg is healing up great, and that I should get the drain out this week.

Today's mantra was "I surrender to Hope." I don't really know what this means, but it sounded right this morning when I opened my window to purple bulbs, next to green grass, in front of snow-covered mountains, under a clear blue sky, holding a bright yellow sun. And in the background the singing of birds, and the echos of kids. Spring at last! And all It's influence!

I believe I have purple hair here and semi-symmetrical legs.

Last night my five year old asked if they cut my cancer out all the way. "They got all they could find. They just worry because it might come back." "I think it willn't come back." "Willn't?" "That is a word you make when you put together 'will' and 'not'."

Iloveyoulukemorethananythingeverintheworld. That is the word you make when you put together what I feel every time I look into those dang cute, dark brown eyes.

If will has anything to do with this....


  1. I love you girl;) drain, asymmetrical legs and all! I love your cute boys too and I have never even met them.

  2. I needed a lesson in hope tonight! So glad I saw your post.

  3. "Willn't is a GREAT word! I like it a lot. And I have hope that your cancer 'willn't' come back.

    I once saw a movie where a woman was being interviewed to become a resistance fighter against the Nazis during WW II. The interviewer asked her "which is most love?" The woman hesitated and then solidly answered..."hope."

    I've thought a lot about that, and I think she may be right. Hope is essential.

  4. I get a full body chill whenever you talk about your brown eyed Luke. XO. Don't you think you and I should go to the tulip festival? It's kind of tradition. (You can leave your camera home. ;))

  5. Alisa--what a great post! I am holding on to hope for you and your family too. I saw your comment on my blog. Life is still good, hard sometimes but good. It's amazing how extra blessed we have been! I really can't complain! When having a staring contest with mortality, it's amazing how much warmer the sun feels, brighter the blue in the sky, louder the songs of robins but more importantly how much darker and cuter those big brown eyes of your son are. Relish these moments, it's an awesome feeling. I truly pray for you. I wish there was more I could do.

  6. Luke is for sure the cutest boy in the world. And I have a new favorite word now.
    p.s. Thanks for the new books to read - there is nothing quite as satisfying as a nice stack of books waiting to be read on my nightstand!

  7. Luke certainly has amazing eyes.

    Glad your leg is healing well. We are coming in July! Trev wants to have his birthday party there so that the boys can come:) Happy Spring to you!

  8. You paint pictures and draw out feelings with your beautiful words. Ithinkyourthoughtsaremagical!
    Aunt Kathy