Friday, October 18, 2013

til harvest

The cells have grown enough.

I should have jumped for joy when they told me.  But I knew they would grow (these are my amazing T cells we are talking about).  And I knew when they confirmed this that I would be an anxious mess.

Because now I have a decision to make.  I am torn between what I think are my best two options:  Ipi here in Utah (the drug I did last June with amazing results and horrible side effects), or the TIL trial in Seattle.  Luckily, I don't have to decide just yet.  The Seattle doctor is trying to work with my insurance company to get the hospital stay approved (good luck with that!).  This will give me some time to continue collecting information and maybe to find some peace.

This is going to be a very hard decision to make.  It makes my heart race just thinking about it.  I will try and write up the dilemma here in a bit.

I know I am very fortunate to have options.  And honestly, they are both really good options.  But which is best?....

10 comments:

  1. We are praying for your inspiration for this important decision.

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  2. I'm sure you'll get some clarity as time goes on, but I don't envy the research and negotiating you have to do to get there. It sounds awful.

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  3. By the way, it took me a minute to get your title. I was thinking 'til harvest. I mean, it is harvest time afterall.

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  4. Thanks for the update, Alisa. Praying for you to know what to do.

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  5. Dear Alisa, I have been following your blog since the beginning diagnosis and you are my inspiration. I'm in stage IIIc and have been in this battle since 2009 when I had my first thin melanoma removed on my back left leg thigh area. The stats were low of reoccurence, but Dec 30, 2012 brought a reoccurence in the groin lymph nodes. The surgery was complete node dissection which left me with lymphedema and not being able to exercise like I always have. Your strength and determination has inspired me so much over these years. The medical center where I live does not have a melanoma protocol once it reaches stage IV- and for stage III there is interferon which I haven't done. I just keep wondering if I want quality vs. quanitity and this has been a hard decision. I work full-time and thankful that most days I feel good- then the days when my fatigue sets in- well, I just look at what you ahve gone through and keep on going! My PET scans are due in November and I admit I have put it off since April- you are in my thoughts daily. And I pray for your family and you. Blessings.

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    1. Thank you for your kind words Kim! I am so honored to be prayed for from friends I haven't met yet. IIIc is a very hard stage to hang out at. I hope you never hear the stage IV words, but if you do you will have a lot of options (as long as you have access I guess). If you have to travel come to Utah, we have great doctors and an extra room! You are always welcome. Seriously. I so hate lymphedema. It's not something many people understand, and I am sorry you 'get it.' Dang! Hang in there, I will pray for your November scans. Let me know how they turn out.

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    2. Thank you Alisa! Your graciousness means the world to me. I am praying for you- question- did you exeperience anxiety through this journey? I sometimes have overwhelming fear and wondered what you would do to calm down if you felt this...thank you!

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