Not in a writing sort of mood. But I know you are wondering about this week. The insurance company finally responded Friday, and I will be starting the medicine this Wed. (assuming I pass my brain MRI tomorrow, I will fly out for testing on Tuesday). They (back to the insurance company) did not give me the answer I wanted, so I will continue to battle it out. But it is sucking all my strength to wait for phone calls, to be on hold, to leave messages, to try and explain the situation to dozens of people. To hope.
I do not mean to complain about the money. We don't need a bake sale (yet). We have budgeted $8,000, and although the insurance is asking me to pay more, we also have more. We just don't want to spend it on hospitals if we don't have to (we have other bills and dreams believe it or not). If we shouldn't have to (which is my opinion).
Today I have been on pain pills all day for the first time. It is only the second time I've needed them during the day.
Today is also our 13th anniversary. I cry when I think about it. All the loveliness and now all the ugly things we have had to deal with. Josh is the most amazing person in the world. I have a hard time not feeling like I've ruined his life, but he says 'no question' he would have married me even if he would have know. I really wonder if I would have married him, I don't know if I could choose to break someone's heart.
I guess it's a good thing we can't see into the future.