My left arm with the blood clot is much improved. It's not exactly back to normal, but I'm pleased.
The surgeons in the tumor board meeting unanimously said to leave the remaining tumors alone if they aren't growing, as the surgery would most likely result in the loss of the entire kidney. I am okay with this. I wanted the surgery now because I worried that if we waited, we would have to take the entire kidney. But it looks like that could be the case with surgery now. We can't radiate there again, as the doctor thought we had most likely given the max dose of radiation to that area.
Of course I am still hoping that the tumors will just chill and stay where they are, but in my experience with my cancer, if it isn't shrinking it will eventually grow.
I feel strangely prepared for whatever at this point. I have already been through the emotions of re-occurrence, and the disappointment of drug failure. Not to mention the cancer being almost as bad as it can get (brain tumors). So what can't I handle at this point?
This Sunday I taught Relief Society in my new ward (lots of Mormon lingo here-sorry) for the first time. We were talking about procrastinating repentance. I told a little bit of my story. I told them I had 25 deadly brain tumors, and how the cancer could have taken me in months. I explained that it was still hard to repent, or change, even though I knew when I would probably meet my Maker (I'm still working on some things, which is probably why I'm still here. The moral of the story was that change takes time). Well, I kind of left that I'm not dying anymore. I forgot to tell them the part where all the brain tumors disappeared.
I have been worried since that someone is worried about me. But that is just too much worrying. Rest assured, friends, that life for me is so very good.
Today I got to register for 8th grade with James (middle school halls-YIKES). And it was 'Eat Lunch With Your Kids' day at the grade school. Luke shoved all his food in his face to get to recess ASAP. He left me with a one of his huge hugs a favorite saying, "I love you Mom. You're the best." Sam took his time. He sat and looked me in the eyes and chatted about his funny day at school. He waited politely till I told him he better run out and get some exercise. "Thanks for coming Mom!"
This is what I fought for. This is exactly what I wanted out of life. Every day I am fulfilled.
|"Mom, are we millionaires?" Oh, Sam. Practically.|