As you can imagine, I have been very overwhelmed this last few days. I have cried more than ever. More (way more) than when we have had bad news.
I remember that first day in my current doctor's exam room. His kind eyes behind thin rimmed glasses, his head cocked above his red bow tie. Just finished telling me the treatment plan. Just answered my questions, including "So how do people usually die of this?" He said something I keep thinking about. His nurse and social worker were standing behind him, leaning against the counter taking notes. "How is your support system?" "Awesome." I answered easily, squeezing Josh's hand. "Both of our families are close, and our neighborhood is very close-knit. I have a ton friends. They are the very best."
"Good." He sat back in his chair a little, the others smiled. "Statistically, having a strong support system is as powerful as anything you can do, including any kind of diet you can put yourself on."
I don't really know why this makes a difference. Is it the stress you have taken away (cooking, cleaning, babysitting, driving), giving my body the strength to heal instead if worry? Is it all those people, that I know and don't know, telling me I am strong on my blog, and I let it go to my head and started believing it?
It has to be some of that.
I recommend "The Emperor of all Maladies" to those curious about cancer. It explains, among other things, the theories on how cancer gets its start in your body. The conclusion is, if I remember right, that it is a combination of factors: intrinsic, extrinsic, genetic, that give cancer its beginnings.
It is a combination of factors that is going to give my cancer its end: miracles, magic, luck, medicine. And a most important part of the equation: YOU.
And of course, how could not give credit to my Heavenly Father? Prayers of thanksgiving going up to heaven constantly. With God, all things are possible. Isn't that beautiful?
I take no credit for this victory. And that, my friends, is what makes me cry. And cry. I am so full of gratitude and love!