I have taken a turn for the better now that the first chemo drug (Cytoxan) is flushing out of my system. I even had a little breakfast. They said my bone marrow has now been stopped and my neutrophils will start to decrease. I now get one dose of the second chemo (Fludarabine) each day until Thursday when I am scheduled to get my T-cells back. As I reminder, the chemo is not being used on the tumors I have, but to kill off my existing immune system to make room for my new super charged immune system.
Thank you so much for your kind thoughts and prayers. I know everyone is curious how I'm feeling about all this.
It is strange to lay here with fight songs and angry energy pulsing through my veins. Sometimes I feel like putting down something James (my 13 year old) would write up. Something with explosives and tactics and blood and steel. Something that makes you shut your eyes and turn your head.
But no. In reality this fight is just the pulse of the IV pump. A smile from the kindest nurses. Josh working on his computer. And my eyes lids drooping. Maybe a barf here and there.
But in my head, I wish it was an air raid. I want to see the damage.
I miss my kids and my summer. I miss my bed and my dog. But if this works we won't have to come back to this hospital, or stay at any other. If it works the dog days of summer will never be spent indoors again.
Praying that this works.